Wednesday, March 16, 2011

The Truth About Kinky Women

Sometimes people just say the exact right thing. FAR better than I could have ever said it. Ordinarily, I'd be a bit jealous of someone who writes this well, who can put into words that which I usually struggle with. If I even bother. You see, many times when "those guys" post on Fetlife, I don't bother helping them. I used to. But not anymore. There are just too many wankers.

But in this case, I'll just repost a response to a thread on Fetlife by Septimus. Sadly, the thread was deleted by the original poster, but you can read Septimus' post on his own blog. As I read it (the first couple of dozen times) I smiled and thought to myself- I'm lucky to have such a wonderful guy in my life. He gets it.

The Truth About Kinky Women-
by Septimus
You want to meet a girl that you can explore your kinky side with. That's wonderful.

Let me ask you something:

* Do you go on match.com or OKcupid with a profile that says "I'm a guy. I'm looking for a girl. If you're a girl or know a girl, would you send her to me please?"
* Suppose you're into stamp collecting. Do you go into stamp-collecting forums and say "I'm a guy who thinks he may like stamp collecting, and I'm looking for a girl to fuck and teach me about stamp collecting."?
* Do you see a girl at Starbucks drinking coffee and say "Hey, I like coffee, too. Wanna fuck?"

Every time you post on here asking for people to "help you out," that's _exactly_ what you're doing.

You seem to think that just because a woman is into getting tied up, beaten, and fucked in the ass, she's somehow different from a "normal" woman. You seem to think that just because a woman likes to have sex, talk about sex, and sometimes be naked in front of people, she should want to do that with you. Without knowing anything at all about you except that you like women to get naked in front of you.

Submissives aren't submissive to everyone

You'll hear submissives say "I'm submissive, but I'm not _your_ submissive." No matter how many times you've read The Story of O, there is no chateau full of submissive women who are available on demand to anyone who wants to use them.

Kinky women are not whores

Some kinky women may like it when their partner calls them "whore," but they're not sex workers. They're not in the business of making sex of any sort available to all comers. (And contrary to popular belief, there is not a rule that actual sex workers have to accept whoever pays them.)

Kinky women are not easy

Some kinky women have multiple partners. Some women will do some sort of limited play with people they just met. As a rule most women will not get intimate with a guy they know nothing about. Kinky women are no different.

Kinky women are not objects

Sure, some women like being objectified, to be used as furniture, ashtrays, fuck toys, even toilets. But you know what? The women who like that _trust_ the people who do that to them, Do you know _why_ they trust them? Because they know them as people. They have connected as human beings before they connected as kinksters.

Kinky women have feelings

Do some kinky women want to be humiliated, degraded, hurt, and used? Absolutely. This may be hard to understand, but while they may want all those things, they want them in a supportive, trusting, and caring environment. You call my girlfriend a bitch, she'll kick you balls. I call her a bitch, and she melts in my arms. See the difference?

I love you Darling. I could SO melt right now :)

2 comments:

GeekyNymph said...

Yay! Glad you posted this. I've gotten offended when online strangers call me slut or whore, then try to say, "but in a good way!"
No. it's offensive if you're a total stranger dude. You're not my partner and fellow kinkster.

etc. It's important to share information like this. Thanks!

Aurore said...

This is absolutely brilliant! I wish every person who even thinks about approaching a submissive (I've had a domme or two step over the line as well) would read and understand this!