Wednesday, January 19, 2011

It’s all Fun and Games until Someone's Socks are Dirty

I know I said that I was going to take a break from writing about my personal relationship for a while. And while I intend to do that, I can’t stop writing altogether. Especially when there’s so many things I still think about. Most of which are only peripherally related to what’s going on in my own life.

Do you ever wonder about those kinksters that live together full time? What happens when kinky people decide to live together? Perhaps you think it’s non-stop playtime? That by simply being in the same room, the same bed, makes things somehow easier? No more schedules, no more planning. It just happens, right?

I’ll confess that I kinda did.

As someone said to me, it’s really difficult to keep up the intensity when you live with someone, that you had when you were only seeing each other a few times a week. It’s easy to overlook things when you’re not living with them. Including the dirty socks.

But it’s also easy to get into a rut. Working long hours, commute times that stretch upwards of two hours on a good day, daily responsibilities of family, running a household, and just the sheer amount of work it takes to merge the details of two individual lives so that they somehow work together, very frequently it seems that kinky playtime ends up getting pushed to the side. And now, with party invitations at a premium due to our local space being shut down, I wonder if it’s as hard for other couples to figure out how to transition from getting home from work, getting homework done, eating dinner, putting the kids to bed and still have the inclination to get their kink on with a "scene". I wonder if I’m alone in just not knowing how to integrate kink with everything else going on in my life and that planning for kink just leaves me exhausted.

Just how DO kinky people get put spice back into things? What happens when kink feels.....vanilla?

I'm sure that there must be some hope on the Kink Academy site for kinksters who seem to have lost their kinky way after they’ve found each other. Kinksters who may have found that comfort and joy in their relationship sometimes leads to letting the kinky parts slip to the background. Knowing Princess Kali, I'm betting there is. I'm hoping that by becoming a Student Blogger for the Kink Academy, I'll be able to learn new skills which I can use to get over any apathy I have towards kink and figure out how to bring a new outlook to it. Perhaps some new skills, a new way of doing things, new scene ideas, or even something I haven't even thought of yet would go a long way towards helping me figure out how to bring more of what I crave into my relationship, while still keeping the parts that I dearly love (who doesn't love snuggling while watching a movie?). But more than that, I hope that by becoming a student and writing about using the site, that I can show others who might be a little lost in their own confusion about how to put some kinky spice back into their own long term dynamic.

Without the dirty socks, of course.

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