Monday, September 27, 2010

Scratching the Niche

As anyone who reads this blog knows, I write mainly about how my relationship with Daddy makes me think. It’s not strictly about D/s, rope, or sex, although all of them have been mentioned once or twice. Mostly it’s about my learning to understand and accept that even after many years of being in various bdsm relationships, I still don’t have all the answers. There’s always something I can learn.

When talking with Daddy about my blog, I joked with him that I felt like I was a fraud for not writing about sex toys, putting our entire sex life out there, or writing my fantasies as erotica. As usual, he laughed and said that I had a different niche.

I didn’t intentionally start blogging and avoid writing sex toy reviews. It’s just that there’s really so much I can shove in my cunt and talk about it. Other people write really great articles about toys. You can find some of them on my blogroll. If there’s a toy I want to know about, I’ll talk to BadBadGirl.

I started blogging because there was a real lack of what I thought was real people writing about issues which happened in every relationship. BDSM or otherwise. I may talk about sex or scenes or other fun and kinky things, but my main reason for blogging was to try to put a voice to the confusion I’d found in reading the how-to manuals for D/s and erotica.

I attend a lot of classes. Daddy and I have even taught quite a few of them. When we teach, one of our main themes is that there’s no one way of doing things, and that re-evaluation and relationship examination needs to take place constantly if it’s going to work. We may teach a skill, but what I think we’re really trying to teach is how to take that skill and adapt it for your own relationship. Just because it’s being taught in a particular way, you should take what works for you and don’t feel badly because you’re “not doing it right”.

After attending a ton of classes, I ended up writing about what I’d learned. I’ve written about NEDS classes, Shibaricon classes, Bound in Boston classes, private classes taught by Jay Weisman, Lee Harrington, Sir C, and Twisted Monk. I’ve written about my Fetish Flea classes, my Grue experience, the seminars, conferences, and classes taught by Megan Andelloux, Princess Kali, and Midori and more. If I attend a class, con or seminar, I’ll probably write about what I’ve learned. I think that if someone teaches, it’s fair game for a review. Fortunately, I’ve rarely been disappointed.

The Kink Academy is inviting bloggers to write for a chance to take part in reviewing their use of the website. When I think about the times I’ve used it, it’s always been very helpful, but I never really thought to write a review of it in this blog. I know that we’ve used Lee Harrington’s video to remember how to do a particular tie, and I’ve perused other parts of the site for refreshers on other things (HiOhMegan in particular), but for some strange reason, I never thought of watching and reading the site as a “class”. But that’s exactly what it is. The Kink Academy is a site filled with classes, when I need them, when I have time for them, and when they’re most useful to me. Exactly when I WANT to learn something. My smile at the idea of doing this, is only slightly smaller than my ideas of what kind of really kinky things I can learn to practice with Daddy.

When I mentioned this to Daddy, as usual told me to go for it. But he did remind me that as much as I really love watching Princess Kali doing a face slapping safety demo, I’ve got to remember that under no circumstances, will HE be the one getting slapped, no matter how safely I think I could do it.

Don’t worry, I’ve got that written down in my notes. Right between thou shall never tease daddy by hiding his iPhone, and trying to remember where I left my favorite pair of blue high heels.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I absolutely love your blog! I love that it provides a different perspective from other "sex blogs". I relate to a lot of what you have written and it has been very insightful.

Thank you for being unique!