Friday, July 23, 2010

The Truth About Cats and Dogs

It should come as no surprise to anyone that there are as many different approaches or styles of submission as there are people. I was having trouble understanding an approach that vastly differed from mine and I frequently asked Daddy WHY this particular style just bugged the hell out of me so much...and why I just couldn’t seem to understand it. He, as usual, had an explanation that makes a lot of sense.

He explained the difference as some people submit like dogs and others, like cats.

Generalities of behavior found in the cat-like submissive versus the dog-like submissive mirror the generalities of behavior in these two common pets. The thing to remember about these types of submissives, is that some people are dog-lovers, while others love their cats. It’s more about finding out the kind of submissive you are, and then finding an owner who can’t imagine cuddling up with anyone else.

As a one time dog owner, and recent cat owner, I can tell you the differences between cat and dog surface behaviors aren’t that remarkable. They both DO a lot of the same, sleep, provide companionship, hunt, play, and shed fur. Where they differ comes in how they relate to the people in their environment. My grandmother used to say: “dogs will love whoever feeds them, even after you abuse them...while cats, who are more wary, have to really like you to even enter the room far enough to sniff the food in your hand”.

Dogs can be trained to be obedient to their owner’s will. Once they’ve received enough training and you’ve gained their trust, you pretty much can do whatever you’d like to do with them. These kinds of submissives love to be “made to do” things. Whether it’s something they’d really like to do or not. Dogs tend to trust people (unless trained otherwise) immediately and fully. After all, they were the first line of defense for their humans in days gone by. Something they’d hardly do if they were trained to distrust people.

Get a dog-like submissive to trust you and you’ve pretty much got someone who will play fetch forever. Their greatest desire is to find someone to trust and to turn themselves over completely to their owner. They may not trust everyone who feeds them...but they once you have fed them....they’re never very far from completely trusting. A dog-like submissive takes pride in obedience, service, and being “made to do”. Praise is important, but it’s a praise from their owner that’s the most important thing. Dog-like submissives need external praise for their actions in order to wag their tails properly.

Cats are seldom trained to do anything, especially that which they don’t wish to do. Cats don’t have trust implicit in their personality. Cats are skittish, wary, and distrustful by nature. Cats also don’t go willingly into places that they’re not comfortable with...they tend to (excuse the pun) pussy-foot around until they've found a spot they're comfy with. They seldom trust anyone at first glance, much less the people they live with. It takes time, patience, and a willingness to trust on the cats’ part to learn to do it. And the first time you do something to a cat (like dress them in silly clothes or step on their tails) they’re not quite as willing to overlook the flaws in their people the next time.

A cat’s first rule is to please themselves. From sleeping, to grooming, to playing...they’re on their own schedule. Getting a cat-like submissive to trust you is like filling a bathtub with an eyedropper. It’ll happen eventually, but it’s gonna take some time. But getting a cat-like submissive to trust you, and barring any unconsensual tail-stepping, you’ll have a submissive that will always curl around your leg, but will also always seem just a tad bit aloof and out of reach. Cat-like submissives realize that their happiness stems from making themselves happy. That sometimes it comes in the form of service to their owner or acting in ways to make their owners smile (how else do you explain chasing greeblings?) doesn’t negate the fact that first and foremost cats are selfish creatures. They can conform if given enough incentive. But it’s rare that a cat will wag its tail even if their owner is completely content. It’s enough for cat-like submissives to have internal criteria for happiness.

Both dog and cat submissives share traits of loyalty, playfulness, and being emotionally attuned to those they’re around. Neither is “better” than the other. But knowing that cats and dogs seldom share the same space without at least some growling and hissing, can make it a little easier to figure out how the HELL that other person calls themselves a submissive.

cc licensed flickr photo shared by Scott Kinmartin


Anonymous said...

Great post, Silverdaydreams! I always enjoy your insight and it's especially helpful to Noobs like me.

Cadence Rayne said...

So, would you say your a dog or a cat?

silverdreams said...

LOL @Cadence

I'm definitely a cat. I think I'm probably one of the most selfish submissives on earth. I'm fortunate in that I've had a long time to learn to find the correct balance.