Monday, May 10, 2010

The Anti-SafeWord

I had a busy weekend. One in which Daddy said that I’d found the Anti-Safeword. And by that it means, that it’s a word used to ensure that the “things, already commenced....will continue in earnest”.

Saturday, I attended a couple of classes put on by NEDS. The first was a CPR/AED Certification class and the second was an Anatomy and Physiology class. Jay Wiseman was the instructor for both.

It was a long day, but I learned a lot. Jay was funny, informative, and a heck of an amiable guy. Since he has a legal background, I listened to a lot of what he said regarding legal responsibilities of CPR with a different outlook from most of the people in attendance. I also enjoyed hearing about some of his trial work, expert witness work, and his take on lawyers and judges. I also paid particular attention to his “you might be a California bdsm-er if” spiel. One in particular I saved in the back of my mind. I giggled at it so much, I fully intended to use it. It had the benefit of being “just bratty” enough to work, without being rude. All I had to do was remember it, and wait for the perfect time. Oh...and not spill the beans to Daddy before then :)

We attended a party on Saturday night. Because the last one was so difficult personally for me because of the rope thing, I tried to go into the night with a couple of things in mind.. Things that Daddy has said to me time and time again. This time I was determined to remember them. It helped that we had a nice dinner before the party. It wasn’t exactly “quiet” because the restaurant was a bit loud, but spending time together talking, and connecting was a great start. I can’t recommend that highly enough. And it seems that makes a bit of a difference for me personally.

Even before the party started, I’d had a bit of a let-down when my contacts were giving me a HUGE problem. I had to remove them and wear my glasses. Something I’ve never done at a party. Also, I’d made a bit of a mess with Daddy’s rope while cleaning the closet. Either of those things could have started me off on the wrong foot. But I was feeling pretty good and instead of berating me for the rope, he just let me clean it up and helped to put it properly.

At the party, things didn’t exactly work out to plan. We’d wanted to use a particular piece of equipment, but it was snagged before we could get to it. We tried to substitute another, but that wasn’t going to work out well. This is where things could have started to spiral. I was ready to play, but we really didn’t have anywhere to do it. I took a deep breath and said to Daddy...”it’s ok...we’ll just have to wait for a bit”. As soon as I said it, I realized that simply saying the words gave power to the idea.

We didn’t have to wait long though. We started with the St.A’s. He tied my hands to the cross, got his toys ready and we started. He flogged me, and the music was horrible. The beat was so slow, trying to flog to that was difficult. The second flogger got stuck on the cross. And that’s when I started to giggle. The giggling let the brat out and I’d remembered what I promised myself earlier. It occurred to me then that while the beat of the music wasn’t conducive for flogging, it wasn’t bad to dance to. So I began dancing my ass while Daddy was trying to aim for it. He finally hit me a few times and stopped to ask “does that hurt?”. And then I remembered what Jay Wiseman had said. In the back of my head....that little devil escaped and I said the words that made Daddy laugh: “fer sure, dude!” He stopped for a second and asked me what I’d said (I’m sure it’s because he couldn’t have imagined those particular words coming out of my mouth). So, I just repeated the words......and he started laughing.

From there, it was only a matter of time. He tickled, I laughed. My shirt got stuck around the cuffs, I laughed. The tawse got stuck under my shirt on the cross, we both laughed. The ridiculousness of my foot in his crotch while he was flogging me, the dancing ass that he was trying to hit, and the crop in my mouth that I took out to scratch my nose with all contributed to a fun scene where, despite things not being as intense as we play around with at home, worked out better overall.

It occurred to me then, that perhaps this was the problem.

The most successful public scenes we’ve had have followed a predictable pattern. Not that the scenes themselves were predictable, but that there were patterns that seem to work out better.

It goes something like this:

a) I’ve had a day where I’ve done something that I like to do. Simply being at the CPR class, not feeling guilty I was taking time away from Daddy, and doing something that was important to me led me into a place where I was able to focus on making sure Daddy had something of me later on.

b) Spending time together before the party. Quiet time, talking, laughing and connecting outside of a kinky environment.

c) Eating a decent dinner with plenty of water (or in my case, iced tea) and no alcohol for me.

d) Having enough time to get ready, take care of last minute issues, and plan for the things that I’ll need that night.

But the biggest one is that I held onto one thought, one idea, and had a singular focus for the night. That I was determined to not allow anything come in between a fun time for Daddy and me. And that included my own penchant for beating myself up over “things that go not-so-right”.

I think I may have gotten it right this time. Things begun will continue in earnest.

Fer Sure, Dude!

1 comment:

dana said...

Thanks for sharing this. It's just another example of how each couple/tribe/family needs to "write their own book" as you two like to say. Permission to be who we are is the most liberating of feelings...

fer shure, dude!