Friday, February 5, 2010

Some Things Are Better Left Vanilla

Sir loves to experiment. Usually, things work out ok, but there was one time where things turned so hysterical, that I really did fall off the bed.

We'd taken a trip to Good Vibrations in Brookline, MA. He'd wanted to take a look at the Luna Beads from Lelo. While we were there, and since we were in an experimental kind of mood, Sir took a look at the condoms. Now you know condoms...there's like a million colors, styles, flavors and sizes to choose from. Since my favorite color is green, Sir decided that the green kimono's might be fun to try. He actually thought they'd be a good choice because they "had bumps on the inside and out"...you know....for a "more pleasurable experience". I really have to tell you though, when it comes to condoms, at least for me...it's not what's ON the package...it's what the package does that makes it pleasurable for me.

But anyway, we went home with our purchases. I fell in lust with the Luna Beads and we've used those quite often. Mostly at parties, where Sir invites my friends to shake me around in bear hugs and get the damn things moving around. Usually my knees end up weak and it's a good thing that I bring extra underwear in my purse. But the condoms stayed in the drawer for a few days and I didn't think too much about them.

When we finally got around to trying them, well....lets just say that while I don't know about being more pleasurable for him, the lube on the condom left some evidence behind. I'm not sure why we never thought about it. There was a LOT of lube on the condom....either that or it had a very interesting reaction to being inserted in a wet pussy.

We'd finished fucking and I got up to clean myself up. When I looked down at my pussy, I caught a glimpse of something that would have scared the life out of me, had I not known we'd just used a colored condom. My pussy was tinted lime green.

I started laughing and showed Sir what had happened. He started laughing and then the jokes started. Calling my pussy "mossy" and saying it was covered in "green slime" just made me think about moss growing on the sides of rocks or things that aren't USED a whole heck of a lot...and the green slime...well...that just made me think of the Ghostbusters movies. Both of which left vivid pictures in my head and made me laugh all the harder....until I rolled off the bed.

We've tried to give the rest of the condoms away....but we've had little success. It seems that once we tell the green pussy story, nobody really wants to end up in the same condition.

So for condoms, experimenting may be fine...but I'd really rather stick with vanilla ones. Plain, serviceable, and no-nonsense. And I thank the heavens that red wasn't my favorite color. Otherwise, I'd have probably had a heart attack instead.

1 comment:

Kyle said...

OMG, that's too damned funny.. LOL.. HIGH larious.