Monday, January 25, 2010

Talking Dirty

So, my twitter friends have been trying to help me out. Unfortunately, I don't think that morse code or semaphore will work out very well. It would be fun to try...but somehow, I think Daddy would appreciate more in the way of actual words.

I've googled. It's not as helpful as you'd think. Most of the stuff I'm finding is written for pretty vanilla people who don't DO like actual kinky things. Like what's is so erotic about "hey, I found these wanna try them out"? Especially when being tied up, tickle tortured, and soundly fucked is a normal day in our house.

Other stuff is written from what seems an extremely dominant point of view. I mean, I know that there ARE women who love to tell their guys what to do and that their guys LOVE to be told, but I think if I told Daddy that I was gonna "control him tonight" or that I wanted him to "Get over here, big boy. Show me what you’re packing"...well, let's just say that somehow that sort of thing doesn't seem like it'd go over too well in our D/s relationship. Although asking him to "use me as your toy" holds some charm...because I'm, like you know...actually his toy doesn't seem dirty.

So what then IS dirty talk? Descriptions? Wants? Expression of Desire?

I've tried imagining describing what I was going to do, but then I start doing it and I sort of lose track of the script. I've tried to imagine describing what I want...but I'm pretty sure that he already knows that I want to swallow him whole. Devour him completely and make him into a puddle of goo. It's not very hard to imagine describing things or telling him exactly how much I want his cock down my throat until the tears come to my eyes and I gag on it. Or maybe it's the other way around...gag first, cry after. I forget.

So what I'm left with is an expression of desire. He wants a verbal expression and not just going at it with gusto. OK, I thought, I can do that.

But after you say "I love it when...", "I need to have your...", just WHAT do I say? And it's slowly dawning on me, that this might be one of those times where sucking cock is actually harder than I'd ever imagined.

Talking dirty isn't easy when nothing you say feels naughty, or when naughty is something that happens every time you open your mouth.

Someone suggested that I use other words for cock and go from there. But calling his cock a "weapon of love" or "pussydestroyer" would likely make me choke getting the words out...and would surely make him laugh so hard he'd fall off the bed. He's an aural kind of guy, while I'm sort of visually inclined. While he'd probably snicker and say something like "uhmmm....NO", I'd actually try to PICTURE a pussydestroyer and come up with something like a battleship out on the ocean looking for the pussy island or something. Hardly a way to be dirty when you're laughing so hard you can't breathe.

I did find a clue as to why this might be so hard for me to figure out though. Nearly every site that I've come across assumes that it's the man's fantasy to have a dominant woman telling him all those dirty little things she want's him to do. Here's one example:

The woman must be the dominant one in the bedroom when talking dirty to her man. Assert your authority over him by telling him that you are the one in control concerning his pleasure and pleasure him beyond his wildest dreams. Dominate his mind with a choice of words that will be sure to have him begging you not to stop. A woman can blow her male lover's mind by tantalizing his mind with very vivid imagery just by using specific words that have that power. Some of these words could be for example she virtually made love to her breasts in front of him by cupping each of them possessively within the confines of her hands and placed her lips to each one to express her ardor openly and hungrily. Tell him to not speak one word or say anything as he listens to the words you will whisper into his ear seductively. If he does interrupt or say anything while you are in charge. You will punish him by spanking his bare butt or by initiating a touch or caress in a very arousing area and then only follow through part of the way before taking the touch or caress back. In other words, leave him on the edge of excitement, and then quickly retreat. He will get the idea and not interrupt your delivery of dirty words.

Hello? Uhm...if I even TRIED thinking about "spanking his bare butt", I'd not be able to SIT on mine for a week. Of course..................

no, I'd better not go there.

I'm still searching for an answer to this. Surely somewhere, there's someone who can help a girl out with talking dirty?

Next up: I'm giving up and going for the porn. When all else fails, it's always a good place to start.


Tremolo said...

Have you considered begging? "Please let me XYZ." "Can I XYZ, Daddy?" That sort of thing.

Not only does it put the dynamic front-and-center, it serves as a MacGuffin -- you can say whatever you want afterwards and it's going to sound right, 99 times out of 100.

Worth a shot, anyway. :)

silverdreams said...

Begging is a given. But even with that...I do it, but it "sounds" off.