Friday, January 22, 2010

Protocol and Impropriety

Many of my friends aren’t so much into the whole dominance/submission thing. They’re more into the beat my ass until I scream thing. And that’s ok. It works for them and I’m happy that they’re happy.

But I’ll admit that I do get a little annoyed with them sometimes too. But it’s because they don’t respect that while they might be footloose and fancy free to do whatever they’d like to do with whomever they’d like to do it with, I have protocols I am required to follow. And some of them...even if they weren’t things that Daddy has insisted upon, I’d likely STILL do them anyway.

I don’t put my protocols “in their faces”. I don’t have a “high protocol” relationship and I don’t make a big deal about it. I can adapt things if I have to. Daddy isn’t a stickler for 100% obedience when it won’t work, but when I DO have to stop someone or do something based on my protocols, why do I get the feeling they’re just snickering under their breaths? And why do they continually “forget” that I’ve told them a million times that I can’t do certain things? Are they in denial or is it just that they’re not really as accepting of different choices? Do they want to try to cause problems? Or maybe just see the sub get punished for breaking her rules?

What they’re not seeing though is that a lot of my rules are for my protection. They’re for me to be able to rely on Daddy. And they’re not to be fucked with by outsiders. Maybe it’s the word “protocols” that confuses people. Would it be easier to understand if the world used “rules” or “customs” or “formalities” instead?

Daddy and I were at a party recently. We’d separated for a bit to talk to our respective friends, when I came up on a couple of my friends looking at some really cool finger knives. You know the kind...they look like claws, have sharp points, and are something that I absolutely love. One of my friends had put them on, and as I was oohing and aahing over them (and asking the owner of them where he’d bought them), my friend went for my chest with them.

Because I’ve been hurt in the past by someone who didn’t have permission to touch me, Daddy and I have a really strict rule about this type of behavior. It isn’t allowed. Period. Something that this particular friend knows darned well. And she knows why I now have this rule. It’s not because Daddy’s an ass and doesn’t like to watch me touch or be touched by my friends...it’s because we had to deal with the lengthy aftermath of the previous injury. It’s to protect me.

When I’d stepped back and said to my friend...."hey..you know that Daddy doesn’t allow stuff like that", she’d looked at me as if I had just said that the sky was green and filled with mice. Then she snickered and said to me “oh yeah...you guys and your protocols....get over it, he’s not here”. What she’d forgotten was that I’d have stepped back from them anyway. The points are sharp and I hadn’t seen them cleaned.

And I was hurt again. This time though I wasn’t hurt physically. No, I was hurt that my friend thought that somehow the rules were a joke between Daddy and me or that the rules only applied “when he was around”. And I got a little angry. Angry that I was being made fun of for my rules. I walked away and went to look for Daddy.

Once I’d found him, he looked up at me, asked if everything was alright, and smiled at me. He snuggled up next to me and resumed his conversation. I’d gone looking for Daddy because I was pissed at my friend and realized that without even knowing what had happened, he was able to see that something was wrong and was able to get me out of a bad mood simply with his smile and a hug.

And maybe that’s why people don’t fully understand protocols and end up making fun of them. They’re not only a way for us to connect to each other, but a way for him to look out for me when he’s not there to do it himself.

So, that’s why I’ll take my “protocols” over the “whatever/whenever” any day of the week. I know who I belong to. And to those that might giggle and wink over them...be happy for me and be happy that I have them. Sometimes, my protocols are the only thing keeping me from kicking your ass.

1 comment:

piecesofjade said...

I'd say that your "friend" maybe isn't so much. That's pretty disrespectful, of you as her friend and of your relationship with your Daddy. Whether she "gets it" or not doesn't matter, that kind of attitude/behavior isn't cool. I'd assess whether or not they really are a person I'd want as a friend, if it was me.