Thursday, January 14, 2010

Dirty Socks and High Heels


As if Daddy weren’t distracting enough, he has to go and throw this into the mix. Don’t get me wrong....what he’s thrown in is definitely holding some major attraction for me, but I’m just not quite sure yet if it’s the idea or if it’s the fact that should I decide to accept his offer, I’d be waking up next to him every morning. Of course, I’d also probably be picking up his dirty socks every night too. If love isn’t surely must be anosmic.

I’ll admit that I’ve been curious off and on for a long time....about how an actual D/s relationship works for more than a few days at a time. Do submissives end up feeling like housekeepers, whores, cooks, and every other term you could think of? All those “job descriptions” people that you’d have at your disposal should you ever become rich as Trump, Gates, or Jobs?

I’ve had friends that have been in a long term D/s relationship and truthfully, it doesn’t look a whole lot different to me from any other vanilla one. I’ve seen them together shopping, vacationing, playing, and sitting together watching television. I’ve seen them raise children, lose parents, and stay together through illness, adversity, and financial obstacles. It really didn’t seem to me that anything was much different. Just that one person wore a nifty collar while the other could express an entire paragraph with one eyebrow.

But lately, I’ve wondered about myself. And of course, about Daddy. How would we end up doing things? Would I like it? Would we end up ruining what we have together or would it allow us to go further? OK, yeah, I’ll admit...I’m still a little hesitant. For two reasons.

One is that I’m deathly afraid of dirty socks.

Since the second one is actually far more important, I decided to take a step over to the pantheon of information (also known as my maven of all things, Mr. Google). That Mr. G is also the epitome of all things MISinformation, I decided to see if I could find some advice on how to worry about this properly. Of course... I mean.. .how to transition into this properly.

Thankfully, right near the top of my search was an article by Cecila Tan. Here’s the link in case you’d like to read it yourself.

Two thoughts that struck me were: roles sometimes are interchangeable and that pretty much you have to write your own manual for this. It’s an ongoing process and can’t be completely done with “pre-scene” negotiation. This is one time that top and bottom sometimes need to be merged with boyfriend/girlfriend, cuddler/cuddlee, and daddy/lilgirl.

Since this is pretty much what I’ve been saying to myself all along, I certainly feel a whole lot better about things now. I know what daddy is like. He knows me. We both know that sometimes I seem toppy because I have to. But we both know that I'm only one person and not an entire "professional staff". Maybe I'll just pick a couple of favorite roles and we'll see what happens with the rest. Captain Photon and the Nashuvian librarian thing notwithstanding

Now I’ve just gotta figure out who does those dishes and, more importantly..... if there's enough room for my shoes in the closet.

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