Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Another Day in Dropsville

There was a conversation that happened on twitter (I refuse to capitalize this until they give me back the ability to block people) yesterday. It was about dom/sub drop. A friend thought that one way to help get through a drop was to have some sort of ritual--a parting ritual-- a phrase or something to take away so that the connection can be maintained and hopefully make the drop less worse (notice I did not say "better"). I mentioned collar rituals as a starting point for ideas. Mr. Google has tons of those around....and maybe they work for some people.

Daddy said something in the tweetstream that made me smile. He said that we have our own ritual which includes lingering over parting and that we both feel like crap until Wednesday. But we do each now have something of the others' to remind us. But having those things doesn't make the drop any easier.

I've had relationships where Mondays weren't like this. They came and went without notice, and without missing anyone. I cared about the people I was involved with, but I really didn't think too much about a drop and I for sure don't remember feeling emotionally drained and yet oddly peaceful. Maybe though, that's just an unanticipated benefit or side effect of bottoming, rather than submitting.

I do know that this happens, heck...we both do by now. We can plan, prepare, and help each other through it, but it's not just a dom/sub drop. If it were just that, it'd be easier. No, I don't think that it's just a typical drop. We get the same feeling whether or not we've done any kinky activity during the weekend.

What it is, is just purely missing someone who means so much to you. Missing the companionship, the quiet comfort we give to each other, the laughter shared by two people over a game of cribbage, the interesting discussion over a meal being shared with someone, and the peaceful sleep we both find now when we're with each other. No, I think what we miss when we're not together in the same place, even if we're not doing anything with each other, is simply not being alone.

We don't drop from losing the connection when we leave each other and we don't need symbols or rituals to try to make it easier. It never will be. We drop because the things we are together are just missed too much when we're apart. We drop because we've gotten used to weekends being together as a couple and to go through the week without those things is sometimes unbearable. We don't lose the connection on Sunday nights. We drop because the connection is always there.

It's just that we can't do a damned thing about it until Wednesday.

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