Thursday, September 3, 2009

Somebody Needs a Good Ass-Kickin'

Another Bondage Club meeting last night.

I'm thinking that this might be my final one for a while. While I'm not ready to give up the other parts of my life, that's one that is fast losing its fascination for are a great many other things.

I've been going to Bondage Club for 11 months and have missed, I think 2 of them- both because Daddy and I preferred to spend that time together alone. Although Bondage Club was what I'd thought of as a nice way to start off every month, seeing my friends, catching up and having some fun with rope I don't miss it when I've had to skip it.

Last night was The Floating World Review. During the first half, Robo and Addie gave a presentation on Kama Sutra bondage that they'd learned from Lee Harrington. Because he had things that he had to do, Daddy had to miss this first part. The bondage was interesting and looked kind of fun. If Daddy didn't hate to be tied so much, it actually looks like something that might be fun to do once in a while. Especially considering each of our currently apathetic feelings towards rope lately. Robo and Addie looked like they were having fun and because of the nature of the tying and wrapping....they had to both pay attention to each other for it to work. That was the coolest part.

Daddy arrived during the break.

During the second half, Trialsinner gave a presentation on super glue bondage that he'd learned from Dov at Floating World. While interesting, I don't really think that this is something that I'd care to do. It lacks the finesse of rope or even the smooth feeling of a set of leather restraints. And thinking of gluing pussy lips, fingers to clits, or any other part of the anatomy with super glue just makes me think of hangliding....something fun to watch others do but I've got no desire to try it myself. As I've told Daddy....I have two of most if one's out of commission for a bit I can deal...but I only have one clit and I kind of like that one so I don't fool around with it. Well, you know what I mean.

After the class ended, the day started catching up to me. I started to get tired, I hadn't eaten much and with Daddy there stroking my hair and talking to me with that wonderful voice of his, I'd started to get sleepy. He asked me what was wrong.

And since nothing was wrong....heck no...everything was right in my world at that particular point (after all I was sitting on Daddy's lap)...I said "nothing's wrong". He explained to me this morning that when he asks that question, he's asking for a "status condition" and doesn't expect that something is wrong, just that he can tell that something is not as usual. I'd like to promise that I'll always remember that, but I've got a long way to go before I'll ever believe that there's a damned thing wrong when I'm snuggling with Daddy.

I did realize something last night though.

I realized that there's another person that I'm going to have to now keep at arm's length, try to avoid without looking like I'm doing it, and be nice to him when all I'd really like to do is kick him in the balls. The keeping at arm's length thing though is the big one. Avoiding without offending is going to be difficult. But I really don't need a touchstone for that. And if he touches my stones again...there will be an ass-kicking. And I won't be the one kicking my own ass for not kicking his this time.

But my chest hurts like the dickens this morning and I'm wearing a bruise that Daddy didn't put there. He isn't too happy about how it got there and frankly neither am I. I like Daddy's bruises and love to feel them afterwards for days. This one just reminds me how much I really am so not a fan. The bruise I got hurts in a bad way, wasn't consensual by any means and makes me fucking angry as hell. But the person that did it? Should have fucking known better. A friendly hug goodbye does not give one the permission to do what he matter how he thought he heard something nor without express permission for that sort of thing. Where he bruised can be seen with my work clothing and now I have a bruise that I have to hide. He didn't think and I'm actually finding that happening a lot with this person. It's not cute anymore and I'm not willing to make any more allowances. He's going to find out just how much iron I've got under this giggly exterior.

I'm happy that I got to spend some time with Daddy last night but I think either I'm gonna have to become something of an untouchable bitch around certain people and that makes me kind of sad. Just when I thought I could start to drop my masks around other people....I'm going to have to put back on the one I hated the most.

Also, Daddy thinks I'm still fighting myself. He's right of course. That would be a lot easier not to do though if he'd just tell me what he wants rather than having me try to figure it out on my own.

No comments: