Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Sir or Daddy?

Sir and I had a brief conversation this morning about this blog. I have the oddest feeling that I'm going to be teased mercilessly for some time about my need to write things down in order to figure them out. That's fine. I can handle the teasing and truthfully, I kind of like it. It's a lot like flirting.

The thing that Sir found the oddest about this blog was that throughout it, I have called him "Sir". And it IS odd. Mostly because I usually call him "Daddy". I tend to reserve "Sir" for those times when he's (as he said) dominating me, hurting me, or using me. Most of the time he IS Daddy to me. Its only the times when he's being that mean, sadistic bastard that I love to have hurt me, use me, and dominate me that I use "Sir". At times like those, calling him Daddy would be too much like trying to wheedle my way out of breaking curfew. At times like those, I need a Sir. Daddy has authority, Sir has command. Daddy has softness, Sir has a sadistic streak that matches my opposing side. Daddy is my comfort and safety. Sir is sometimes as dangerous as a hungry lion. Daddy is the man I love to love. Sir is the man I love despite myself.

I've often wondered why it seems so easy to switch back and forth between the two. And I suppose it's a lot like everything else in our relationship...things just fit when and how they're meant to. Things happen in their own time and in their own way. We're writing our own rule book for this. Nobody can do it for us and even if we read every book ever written on kink or D/s, we'd still have to write our own book.

So from now on, sometimes I'll use Sir and sometimes I'll use Daddy. They're the same person, just different terms for how I see him at different times. One thing I won't do however is call him Septimus. I don't know who Septimus is. All I know is the wonderful, caring, fascinating, adorable man that I call Daddy.

And that's the way I like it.

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