Thursday, July 30, 2009

I Am a Princess (and Happy to Be That Way)

Last evening, a really good friend of mine snickered and got "that look" when he heard me called princess. At first I was offended. But then I thought that maybe this is something that is just misunderstood.

Princess is too often used in a pejorative way by too many people that don’t understand the nature of a Daddy/lilgirl relationship. Of course I’m not a real princess; my parents weren’t royalty, I seldom wear a tiara, and I actually do dress myself. I am not spoiled. I am not whiny. I am not Cinderella and I’m never entitled to obeisance nor homage...although a curtsy or bow from a cute shoe-boy is sometimes looked upon with favor. I work. I drive my own car, have friends and responsibilities that I don't give up because I'm his princess. I don't have a closet full of gucci or prada, and I certainly do sweep the floors, make beds and wash dishes without regard to my fingernails or coiffure.

When one thinks of princesses, they automatically assume that all of the negative traits of princess-ship are those that are predominant. They never stop to think that one of the first roles of a princess is loyalty and duty. A sense of pride in who she is, rising above herself to give even when she doesn’t wish to, and always conducting herself with grace, beauty, and compassion. Why do so many people only think of a princess as a “do-me” or a whiny, manipulative brat? I’m sure if you asked Daddy, he’d tell you that although sometimes I am just a teeny little bit bratty, he’d never consider me a “do-me”, whiny, or manipulative. If anything, he’d just shake his head, smile, and tell me not to worry my pretty little head over it.

In our relationship, a small part of which does include the D/lg....princess is a word used to make me feel loved, cherished, and free to act like a little girl. Able to let out fears that I’ve kept inside for a long time, to someone that not only wants to help me finally get rid of them...but needs to help me become all that I can....because he sees that in me which so many others have overlooked. Able to play, smile, explore, and love in the way that children have before the world gets in the way...with unselfishness and with their whole being. It doesn’t involve age-play, incest, or acting like a spoiled brat. It involves all of those things that make a relationship whole.

He uses other terms for me as well: Mine, bitch, slut, and darling...just as I use other terms for him: Sir, you sadistic bastard, sweetheart, and my love. We even go so far as to use our own names! So then, if we have all of these other “labels”, which no one finds out of place in (or out of) “the scene”, why is the term “princess” said with such scorn? It seems pretty ridiculous to me that calling someone a cunt (when they may HAVE one, but aren’t only one) or a cocksucking slut is perfectly fine...but calling someone by princess means laughter and thinking that either he is a weak man ruled by a manipulative selfish woman; or that I can’t live without someone giving me carte blanche. I am princess to him...not to anyone else. To everyone else, I’d likely kick your ass for calling me that...with that look of scorn....knowing it was an insult. When he calls me princess, it makes me melt because we understand what that word means to us, in our relationship.

So before you snicker the next time you hear me call him daddy, or him call me princess, realize that the truth behind the words lies not in how your own prejudices make them appear, but in how we love each other. If you've ever had a small child curl up in your lap, look adoringly at you, and think you were the man that hung the moon...then you might just understand a tiny part of what being his princess means to the both of us.

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