I moved into my first apartment today.
I don't like it. It's lonely, I have no television, internet, or music. Sir is away at the moment celebrating the holiday with his family. I sent pictures of my shoe closet, and he sent me pictures of the happenings in his neck of Texas. I'm lonely. For the first time, I really know what it's like to be alone. And I don't like it.
I thought moving into the apartment was supposed to give me sense of accomplishment, moving forward, a way to finally end the chaos of my life and find out who I was. I found out that I'm not nearly as deep as all that. I did find out though that ice cube trays and toilet paper rolls always seem to be filled to capacity now though.
I was exhausted from moving. I was still unpacking and trying to make sense out of the boxes when I just sat and looked around me. I had a terrible feeling that I was making a huge mistake being on my own and that I probably should have found a roommate. Without Sir there to share this with me, it felt empty.
How do people learn to live alone? Not even Mr. Google could really help me with this one. This is something I have to figure out for myself.