Wednesday, March 18, 2009

I Don't Even Know What to Say

March 18, 2009. The night Sir found out that some things creep up on me when I don’t expect them to.

We had a nice dinner. He loved what I was wearing and I loved how his eyes lit up when seeing me in it. He was happy that I dressed for him. Interesting that- who does he think I would dress for? And that I’d dress in any other way than what I think would please him? He was happy that I’d gone home to change before meeting him-but less than pleased by the pantyhose. New rule: no pantyhose. That’s fine. I can live with that one. I don’t really like them anyway- but sometimes...a quick fix.

But it was a nice dinner. Vietnamese- Pho88 in Lowell. We sat together in the booth and I was able to touch him. I tickled his tummy- quite by accident, but I loved his laugh. I’ll have to watch out for that. He doesn’t really like to be tickled, while I love his laugh just way too much. We talked about blogging. I hope he does it. Another way to learn what’s in his head. But after dinner, we’d tried to find something to do. We’d tried to find a movie or some music- but too late for the first...and none of the second. We just wanted to be together so a hotel it was.

Disaster that one turned out to be.

I'd had little sleep the previous night. Asleep at 11, up at 2, back down at 5, up at 6:30- bad dreams. Combined with Sunday night, Monday night, the stresses of everything else...That I wasn't really ready for what happened should have been expected. I know how I get when I'm tired.

It started at the restaurant. We’d begun discussing things that weren’t feeling so great for me- physically. The pinches in the same places all of the time are really starting to leave me in some pretty bad pain all of the time. I asked if he’d consider moving them a few mils over a bit...just to give things time to heal. He didn’t take it well.

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