Monday, January 12, 2009

Roller Coaster Ride Begins

I always hope that a new year will bring better things and 2009 was no different. I think- “this year, I will...” (you fill in the blanks), but it always seems that January 1 always brings me just a bit of hope. I have tried not to do this, but despite my best efforts...hope just kind of worms its way into my brain. And once it’s there...I start believing.

Usually by January 2, the hopes are suffering from a headache.

But this year, my hope lasted until January 12. I had a few extra days of hope this year, mostly because I didn’t spend a whole lot of that time at home...and I was with Merry having fun....which, in retrospect, probably made things just a little harder when that headache hit. I’m used to feeling that hope hangover headache right away. I’m not used to having it ten whole days later.

My husband and I hadn’t really gotten along in over 10 years. We’d just hung on so long because we’re both procrastinators. If there ever was something that just had to get done in our house, it was a race to see who could put it off longer. Apathy. That’s the only word that fits here. We just didn’t even care enough to care. Nothing was “bad”, it was just that there wasn’t a whole lot of “good” either...and neither of us cared enough to bother trying to either make some...or pretend anymore.

But on January 12, 2009, after years of living together but not really living with each other, he asked for The Divorce. I knew it was coming, I just didn’t know when. And his timing couldn’t have been worse.

Or all depends on how you look at things.

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